it SIMPLY is what it is.

I miss having a best friend. it sucks how people can grow apart or lose contact… I miss my best….

I’m tired of being locked up in my room all the time. I’m tired of crying by myself. I’m tired of playing nice. I’m tired of them acting like they care when they don’t even know, or don’t even bother to ask.

I hate living like this. I hate feeling like this.

I just want out of my own head.

it’s like he has a one up on me

at this day and age this world we live in is such a fucked up place.
so welcome to insanity if that’s even a change of pace.
we all used to think everything is simple and tbh it still is.
If you think about it, we still work for what we want, that’s where you gotta begin.
it’s too hard, it’s unfair. quit bitchin that’s why it’s called life.
whoever told you it was fun and dandy just fed your ass lies.
people screw you over, they lie cheat and steal.
but at the end of the day you make your OWN decisions, don’t get mad when shit gets real.

what I would give to go back and change some of the decisions I’ve made.

..

she-whispers:

I don’t blame anyone else for how I feel because in my mind, no matter what finger you point there will be three directed right back at me. So when I express how I feel, regardless of its content and reason, I’m not hinting anything else other than the literal intent: to tell you how I feel, to show you how this all affects me. Not to make you feel responsible, not for pity. 

the days I cry myself to sleep, the days I don’t even come out of my room, the days I don’t eat, the days no one in this house says one word to me, the days I spend hours applying for jobs & looking up apartment listings so I can move out, the days I’m so mad I trash my room cuss I can’t do anything else, the days I try to do the best I can just so she’d notice me, the days I wanna just scream and yell, the days I want to hurt myself, the days I just want to punch the walls, the days when all i want is some piece of mind, the days I just want to sleep and nothing else, the days I wished I were different, the days I feel so bad about how I’ve let my life turn out, the days I wish I had no more days left.

these days my happiness is slim.

in that sort of mood where I hurt the one that loves me, I throw my shit even when I know I have to clean it later, I turn off my phone knowing I’m expecting a call, tell my mom to leave me alone when all I want is for her to know how I feel.

I’m hurting and I don’t know why, hence I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve been hurting for so long I don’t even understand anymore. all I want is for someone to hug me, mean it when they tell me they love me & just assure me in gonna be alright.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore. I feel like I’m losing myself. I once cared so much that now I’m beginning to have nothing left to give.